Walking On The Moon

I am a geek when it comes to the Wright Brothers and manned space flight, as much of its history goes through Dayton and vicinity. (Hey North Carolina--first in flight this! The airplane was invented and perfected in Dayton. Get that stupid slogan off of your license plates. Don't make me come down there.) I have several dozen books on Wilbur and Orville as well as space flights. I can remember exactly where I was seated in July of 1969 when I watched a man actually walk on the moon. I have never forgotten that.

So I am kinda embarrassed to say that I did not know right away how many men actually did walk on the moon. Do you? To save you the same shame I experienced, I'll give you a hint: It is the same as the number of tribes of Israel. Or close disciples of Jesus.

Twelve men have walked on the surface of the moon. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Pete Conrad, Alan Bean, Alan Shepard, Edgar Mitchell, David Scott, Jim Irwin, John Young, Charles Duke, Gene Cernan, Harrison Schmitt. Conrad, Shepard and Irwin are all dead. The youngest of the remaining nine, Duke and Schmitt, are 72. Other than Neil Armstrong--and maybe Buzz Aldrin--most school kids today could not name any of these pioneers.

Each of these men walked where no other created creature has been. Their footprints remain today. But it was on their return to earth that the enormity of their adventure set in. All twelve found life on Earth to be, well, difficult to adjust to after their time on the Moon. Many ended up alcoholics, divorced, uneasy with life as they had known it. They were celebrities, but shunned the spotlight. Or grabbed it and ended up saying and doing things that, well, were difficult for us earth-bound creatures to understand.

Take Armstrong. He was offered a high-ranking position with NASA, but turned it down to become an engineering professor at the University of Cincinnati. He bought a farm in my hometown of Lebanon, Ohio and kept to himself. Those who had occasion to speak to him said if you kept to a topic like farming or the weather he was pleasant enough. But even try to bring up his moon experience and he turned vicious. He and his wife of 36 years divorced when his mood swings became too much to handle. He now lives in a suburb of Cincinnati--Indian Hill--but rarely makes public appearances or talks about his walk on the moon.

What impacted these twelve so strongly that their lives were forever changed after walking on the moon? What made it so difficult to fit into this life after a very short life on another rock?

There are a lot of factors that contributed to their difficulties. But as I studied the lives of these heroes, I began thinking about the twelve men who walked with God for a few years while He was on the Earth. The men who watched Jesus teach and heal and create. Who ate and drank with Jesus every day. When we see them throughout the rest of the New Testament--after Jesus had ascended to the right hand of the Father--we find them having a difficult time fitting in with life on earth. Look at the early church. There was a discrepancy in which widows were being fed first in the food lines. The twelve apostles scratched their heads and said, "We can't handle this. Find some men who are good at administration to handle these kinds of things. We are pursuing God." The church grew, not because the apostles were brilliant marketers and businessmen, but because they had walked with Jesus, because the Holy Spirit filled them with God through and through. They were not very good at life on this earth because they had transfered their citizenship elsewhere.

Sometimes I stand outside at night and stare at the moon. (The neighbors pull back their curtains and say, "What is the matter with that boy?" But they are getting used to me...) I wonder if any of the surviving nine moonwalkers are looking at the moon at the same time. I see it as a mystery; they see it as, however temporary, their once home. And since leaving the moon, they have never been the same.

I purport to walk with Jesus. I have the Holy Spirit residing in me. Why, then, do I find it so easy to fit into this world? Why do I not stand out, not find daily life here--to use a term coined by Laree--perfectly awkward. I have walked on the moon--life on the Earth should not be the same. But, too often it is. On the other hand, I am feeling ever more a pulling from the inside out, like I just don't fit into my surroundings like I used to. And while it is awkward. it is good.

(If you don't like the astronaut illustration, think of Richard Dreyfuss' character in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. After being buzzed by flying saucers he just didn't fit in to his family, his job, his neighborhood. He was haunted by a shape he just could not put his finger on. Once he did, he dangerously fought to climb Monument Rock because, well, he didn't know why, did he? But his heart kept pulling him there, and he could not resist. That is what I am feeling. Does that work better than the astronauts?)

I am playing with the idea of writing a book comparing the twelve moonwalkers with the twelve disciples. So far I have read a lot. I guess that is a start. What do you think? Do you find yourself fitting in to life here too easily? Do you feel a pull on your heart? Have you had any close encounters of the third kind?